Hello SAS Community,

Question of the Week: Do you see yourself a certain way that others don't?

• Why people keep getting it wrong.

• The Most Powerful Model: A better way of understanding yourself

• The 100 People Mirror Project: A new intervention for self-growth

Reading Time: 4 Minutes

Have you ever told yourself this?

"If I Knew Then What I Know Now"

Things would be different. Make better or alternative choices.

This is where I think the work of developing your true self pays off.

Have you ever passed that promotion you really wanted?

Or perhaps others demand a lot from you when you only have so much to give?

There are many times I saw myself a certain way when others didn't.

This "gap in self-awareness” is where most people are not willing to invest.

This is where people can have a complete misperception and an internal voice going, "He or she just doesn't get it."

This is HARD work.

So, if you are reading this. This is all I gotta say to you.

Next year, we will start a new edition of this The SAS newsletter.

It will be more focused on your personal and professional growth. When you peel the layers of truth, you get to master self-discovery.

This particular mental model can significantly improve your self-perception.

This model has been used for decades by two Psychologists: Joesph and Harrington called the Johari Window Model.

The concept behind this model is to become aware of what makes you tick.

The first top left window is the open area where I know and you know.

I call it the “Open Mic” or some people refer to as “Open Book.”

For example, people generally know that I am personable, warm, friendly, and approachable.

My friends, colleagues, and network know that I value time freedom.

I started valuing this type of freedom when I got a call on a Sunday night.

My brother broke the news about my father having a stroke.

I was 4 months pregnant, working full-time, and we had a big mortgage.

All I could wish for back earning my TIME back.

The most I could take off was a week long to spend time with my father.

After a month, he passed away.

This is something I don't hide even when I am writing in public.

It is part of my origin story.

Think about what parts of your personality or stories are out there in the open.

Take some time to identify and write them down.

The lower left window is a hidden Facade where I know but you don't.

This can be often a facade that people put on misleading others.

It could be something that they have been keeping a secret from everyone.

For example, my story about how I seek acceptance and love, as part of the mission, comes from the past.

I didn't realize the emotional triggers that kept showing up in life.

It came up at work, events, networking, family gatherings, and business too.

The fight for acceptance and validation comes from wanting to be seen and loved.

When I lacked acceptance, it turned into anxiety and frustration.

There were times I pushed people away because I have not been able to fully express.

Perhaps you have something here you have held back for so long.

It could be anxiety, fear, resentment, or guilt that keep you in the shadow.

This shadow continues to keep people to cover up or hide their trueself.

What was something once hidden but now you talk about openly?

The third window panel is a Blindspot where I don't know but you do.

You'd be surprised how many people are not able to see themselves.

I had a co-worker who thought was helping everyone as a project manager.

But most people viewed her as control freak.

This affected our relationship and how our team operated on a regular basis.

I wish HR had implemented a 360º review but feedback was treated as one-sided.

For example, my blindspot was that I had issues with over commitment.

It was not until a colleague of mine reached out and said, “You seem angry and frustrated working on this project."

Sometimes, we are blindsighted how we can come across to other people.

The truth was that I put a lot of pressure on myself and didn't ask for help.

I know how common it is for many people and perhaps you as well.

Asking for help can feel like a sign of weakness.

But, I learned that it only leads to overwhelm and self-sabotaging growth.

Have your ever realized something about yourself because somebody pointed it out to you?

The fourth pane window is where I don't know and you don't know.

New experiences teach things about yourself.

They reveal both negative and positive aspects of yourself.

This is where when you hear someone say, “I would never try something like that and then they do.”

It changes your beliefs once you do experience the shift.

Pursuing my education in a town where I didn't know anyone and living thousands of miles away from family was eye opening.

I was completely oblivious how things work in the U.S. other than watching Seinfield and Macgyver thinking “it sure does look like a land of opportunity.”

Not until I realized that you have to work for it and find the ability to create new opportunities for yourself. :)

On the flip side, I went to Taiwan where I never tried street foods before.

For the first time, I had a fried ant. And I am happy to report, it was disgusting.

Have you ever had a new experience that taught you something new about yourself?

So you see how these four panes can change in sizes depending on how you see yourself vs how others see you.

Each window can affect your relationships in the way you think, behave, believe, and your actions. This does not mean we need to get super calculated.

But, again being self-aware increases the effectiveness of the communication and the perception you want people to draw.

In most cases, you find yourself either fitting in or realize that you were never meant to be boxed in.

The opposite can also happen where you may never seize the opportunities you get.

For example, I realized at my corporate job, I kept ideas and opinions to myself during important meetings. I missed out on opportunities to lead at workplaces.

I had suppressed many abilities in areas where the potential was there.

My colleagues and teammates took those opportunities instead.

At times, I took the work I had for granted.

I often avoided challenges due to either fear of failure or appearing incompetent.

This is why the work of self-awareness is never going to be a one-and-done process.

As long as you want to improve relationships and effective communication.

I hope this model gives you food for thought.

Before you go, I need your help. I am starting this new initiative called, The 100 People Mirror Project.

It is only a 15-min interview for a Mirror Intervention Chat. Book a call!

If I don't talk to you, I hope you have an amazing rest of the year and enjoy your Holidays!

As always, I am super grateful for you being a subscriber.

Thank you and Wishing you a wonderful New Year!

Stay Humble, my friend.Yours Truly, Humaira"Create a collection of memories. Not distraction"